Fall: A Season To Rise Again

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It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. The sound of my feet brushing through the leaves, the smell of the trees along with the light breeze that rejuvenates my soul and reminds me of new beginnings and fresh starts. It reminds me of rebirth and transformation. It reminds me that sometimes when things fall, they bring beauty, charm and comfort and it somehow resembles the changes in my life. The seasons I go through. My internal transformation. My very own rebirth.

It’s that time of the year again. When I look back on all seasons and realize how each one of them brought a different lesson, how each one of them taught me something vital. Winter brought a sense of freedom, I released all the burdens of the year before and decided to start with a little bit of lightness and peace of mind, somehow I liked not being tied down to anything. I liked not being with anyone. I liked enjoying my life and focusing on my own needs. I liked getting to know myself all over again.

Then spring came along with its sunshine, rainbows, butterflies and renewed hopes and dreams. I had amazing connections, met wonderful people and opened up my heart again and it reminded me that I’m still capable of letting people in, being vulnerable and giving even when the old heartbreak still stings. I believed in my heart again. I believed in my ability to recover and just like spring, my heart and my feelings bloomed again just when I thought they were dead.

Then came summer with all its heat and a few waves came crashing down on me that I no longer had the urge to swim but what summer teaches you is there is always a new day, there is always a new adventure, there is always a new trip and love will always be around you. Summer came and I was reminded that if you have the right friends, the right people around you, there’s nothing you can’t survive and there’s nothing you can’t overcome because those are the people that will help you face the biggest waves in your life and you will never drown.

And here comes fall as I am standing on my feet feeling alive again. I curled up with my winter resilience and basked in the sweet taste of spring and washed off the turbulent waves of summer and they all led me here. All the lessons, all the memories, all the tears, all the confusion, all the laughter, all the disappointments and all the surprises I didn’t see coming. They all contributed to my transformation. They all shaped me up and reaffirmed what I’ve always known that if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t know how to survive on your own, you’ll never be able to adapt to the seasons of your life and find the joy in each one. You will never be able to warm yourself up in winter or transform into a butterfly in spring or swim through the ebb and flow of summer and you will definitely not be able to liberate yourself as you walk through the breezy days of fall.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season and a dichotomy between the meaning of the word and what it truly embodies. The word ‘fall’ signifies things falling apart or falling down but somehow it’s the season where I rise again, it’s the season where I put myself together again, it’s the season where I do a little movie scene of my own. I’m standing across the fallen leaves, the wind blowing in my hair, I look up the sky with arms wide open and I do a happy dance. I’m alive and breathing. I’m liberated. I free myself from the shackles of my mind. I accept everything that happened. There’s no need to dwell anymore. There’s no need to fight back. There’s no need to find answers. I know my rebirth is just around the corner.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. A season to let go. A season to start over. A season to hope for more. A season to dream. A season to love your journey. A season to be proud of how far you’ve come. A season to heal your wounds. And ironically a season to rise again higher than you could ever imagine.

Sometimes Letting Go Of What You Want Brings You What You Deserve

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You have to first ask yourself if this is the kind of love you’ve been searching for? Is this the kind of love that you’ve worked so hard on yourself for? Does it match your energy? Does it love you the way you want to be loved? Does it make you feel at ease and inspired or anxious and confused? You have to ask yourself is this person giving you their undivided love and attention or are they giving you bits and pieces because you deserve a love that’s whole.

You have to ask yourself if this person is choosing you above all else, do they cherish you and are they truly afraid of losing you or do you find yourself always questioning what you mean to them? Because you don’t deserve the kind of love that leaves you with questions, you deserve the kind of love that gives you answers.

And I know it’s not easy to close the door on someone you want or close the door when you still have so much to say and so much to do. It’s not easy to close the door after you’ve invested time and effort and shared your deepest secrets but sometimes leaving that door open will only hurt you down the line because you don’t deserve a love than abandons you. You don’t deserve the kind of love that makes you want to run away and leave. You don’t deserve the kind of love that doesn’t fight for you to stay. You deserve a love that feels like home. The kind of home that you long to go back to after a rainy day. The kind of home you don’t want to leave on Friday nights and Sunday mornings. The kind of home that makes you sleep at night knowing you’re exactly where you belong.

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving the person or stop wishing them well, it just means that you’re not willing to accept the kind of love they have to offer at the moment. It means that you have recognized that you both have different love languages and you’re looking for different things and sometimes the other person will never understand your language or speak it. Eventually, you’ll find yourself asking for things that you shouldn’t be asking for or things that should come naturally from someone who loves you and cares about you.

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving the person, it just means that you have to accept that this is not the kind of love you want to settle for because you know that someone else will have the capacity to love you a lot more and they will always speak your language so you don’t have to spend your whole time translating it.


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If you’d like to purchase the paperback version of my sold out books please email me: ranianaimwriting@gmail.com

2020 Updated Services

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen, 

I am happy to announce my updated services for 2020.

Copywriting and Editing.

You have a great message or a great product to sell but you don’t know how to capture your clients, your audience or your readers because you can’t really establish the right connection with them. Your content isn’t exactly on point. I can help you elevate your copy and create the right vibe and buzz to grow your business or your followers!

Social Media Strategy.

You HAVE the right content. Your messages are creative, engaging and you’ve nailed the right vibe but your social media is not growing, you’re not getting enough engagement or you’re not getting the right followers. I can help you implement the right social media strategy for your brand. Think of all the big details like captions, photos and stories and the small details like when to post, the right hashtags to use and who you should really tag. Little things can make a difference when it comes to social media and I am here to show you the way!

Collabs, Paid Promotions & Endorsements.

This is limited only to the causes, brands or campaigns I really feel connected to. I can help you market your products or services or blog through my own social media platforms only if I genuinely believe in its message or the value it adds to people.

For bookings and rates, get in touch either through social media:

Facebook

Instagram

or via email: ranianaimwriting@gmail.com.

You can also use the contact form below:

Looking forward to collaborating with you!

The Difference Between Us

I hope this is the year where you get reintroduced to yourself, your potential and your worth. I hope this is the year where you find the road to your wishes easier to navigate. I hope this is the year where all your (1)

The difference between us
is that I say how I truly feel
and you say what I want to hear
and somewhere in the middle
we failed to understand each other.

The difference between us
is that I find homes in people
and you find excuses
and somewhere in between
I found myself closing my door

The difference between us
is I walk away when I’m confused
but you convince people that you’re sure
but eventually your hesitation prevailed
and it became harder to trust you

The difference between us
is that I heal myself when I’m broken
but you break people when you’re hurt
and then my heart starts to wonder
if this is where it truly belongs

The difference between us
is that I don’t find joy in dishonesty
and you find pleasure in deception
but eventually your manipulation
brought the end of our story

The difference between us
is that you expect me to wait
and I expect you to show up
but somehow your absence made more sense
and I found myself much happier without you

If This Is The End Of Our Story, I Want You To Know That You’re My Favorite Chapter

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I don’t believe that timing should be a barrier in moving a relationship forward. Maybe it makes it harder but it doesn’t make it impossible. I’m also a firm believer that things have a way of falling into place, they have a way of unfolding naturally and I’m a firm believer that if something is meant to happen, then against all odds, it will happen.

So if our story does not end here, I hope I’m still the same when you’re back.

I hope I don’t lose an inch of respect for you. I hope I can still admire your qualities whether you’re near or far and I hope I can still go to you for advice and I hope you still care.

I hope that when we meet again, we can still look at each other the way we did before timing and distance got in the way and I hope that the time we spent apart would help us realize what we truly meant to each other.

I hope our story is not like all other short stories; I hope our story is long, full of plot twists, surprises, lessons and I hope our story has a happy ending.

I hope we can look back at that time as an intermission, not an ending. As a cliff hanger, not the end of a show and I hope we’re meant to go our separate ways so we can reunite again stronger, wiser and more forgiving.

But if this is the end of our story; if this is all it will ever be, then I hope that when we meet again, we’re both happy, I hope we can still wish the best for each other because we both know how much we struggled to find meaning, to find love and find ourselves.

If I see you again and I don’t feel a thing, I hope there’s no bitterness, no resentment, and no sadness. I hope we can be a reminder of how God sometimes brings two people together to heal each other and once they’re both healed, they move on to better and bigger things.

Maybe healing is not the same thing as loving. Maybe other people heal you so other people can love you. Maybe we all improve each other for someone else.

But if this is the end of our story, then I want you to know that you are my favorite chapter, the chapter I will go back and read when I want to smile and the chapter I will go back and read when the story gets boring and I hope I’m your favorite chapter too.

If our story doesn’t have a happy ending, I hope we’re the chapter that led to it and I hope we are the reason why we started believing in happy endings again.

But if we are meant for each other, then I hope we’re both still on the same page when we meet again, that we can pick up exactly where we left off and keep writing the rest of our story together.

A letter from my book All The Letters I Should Have Sent.

The Only Kind Of Love You Really Need

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Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

You need the kind of love that inspires you to become even more compassionate, even deeper, even softer. The kind of love that doesn’t make you regret giving your heart or being kind or exposing your vulnerability. You need the kind of love that restores your faith in humanity and in yourself. The kind of love that keeps you overflowing with more to give, not the one that makes you feel empty and restless.

You need the kind of love that allows you to grow as an individual, the kind of love that doesn’t fill your mind with toxic thoughts or leave you feeling like you can’t do anything right. The kind of love that makes you sleep at night with one less thing to worry about. The kind of love that doesn’t give you nightmares or anxiety or makes you feel like you have to try so hard or compete for someone’s affection. The kind of love you can truly trust. 

You need the kind of love that stands by you on your weakest days, the kind of love that makes the hard times a little easier to get through. You need the kind of love that stays when it’s easier to leave and fights when it’s easier to give up. The kind of love that gives you more than one reason to hold on. You need the kind of love that makes you glow because you’re genuinely happy. The love that liberates you.

You need the kind of love that you don’t fear. The kind of love that doesn’t make you nervous thinking about the future. The kind of love that tames your raucous doubts and reminds you that the love you always wanted was never unreasonable but you were just asking those who couldn’t deliver.

I’m Not Stone Cold 

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Photo by Roksolana Zasiadko on Unsplash

I’m not stone cold
but I’m no longer a sucker for words
or a lover of games
or a believer of lies.

I’m not stone cold
but I have mastered the art
of being on my own
without pining over love.

I’m not stone cold
but I now know how
to take my heart back
from those who broke it.

I’m not stone cold
but I stopped putting people
on pedestals they don’t deserve.
I stopped fighting losing battles.

I’m not stone cold
but I stopped apologizing
for who I am,
for speaking my truth.

I’m not stone cold
but I’m no longer restless
I now stand my ground.
I now take my power back.

I’m not stone cold
but the way I love has changed
and the way I live has changed.
I’m not trying to ‘win’ anyone anymore.

I’m not stone cold
but I’ve learned how to
light my own fire
when people leave me out in the cold.

2019, I’m Ready To Let You Go

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2019, I’m ready to let you go.

This time, I’m saying goodbye to what could be the most challenging year of my life. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was challenging. It gave me so much to remember yet so much to forget. It brought me so much joy but also a lot of tears. It gave me so much to be thankful for but took away a few valuable things.

2019, this is my bittersweet farewell to you.

Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart because I knew deep down I wasn’t getting the kind of love I deserved. I had to choose myself instead of settling for being an option to someone else. I had to pick being alone again over someone who was never going to value me or make an effort to be in my life. I had to once again admit to myself that I made the wrong choice and it was not too late to right my wrongs. It’s never too late to realize that you made a mistake because you can always make things right again. Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart to save it. Farewell to the day I decided to do things the hard way because I wasn’t ready to lose myself again in the arms of the wrong person and I wasn’t ready to go back on what I always believed in just to make someone else happy. Especially someone who didn’t take my happiness very seriously.

Farewell to the days I saw my loved ones suffer; either from illnesses or losses or painful experiences. The days that make you reevaluate your life and your choices. The days that make you reflect on the meaning of life and security. The days that teach you the hard way that you’re not always in control and that God will always have the last word. The days you’re never prepared for but have to face anyway and utilize all your strength, faith, wisdom, patience and resilience. The days that present you with the hardest tests in life, the ones you didn’t study for, the ones you need to pass anyway. The ones that force you to burst every bubble and step out of your comfort zone. Farewell to the days that broke my heart in irreparable ways.

But more than anything, farewell to the old me, the person I was before this year started, the person who was fearful and confused and scared. The person who didn’t know if they could start over or make things happen or walk away from certain people. Farewell to the person who was stuck either professionally or personally or romantically because if 2019 taught me anything, it’s that if you can take every challenge, every setback, every painful heartbreak, every loss, every tragedy and every missed opportunity as a sign that you need to grow or change your life or yourself and you actually do something about it, then you’ll never have a bad year. You’ll always win even if you don’t have the right cards dealt for you as long as you learn how to play them. And if you can search for the truth within you and among others even if it hurts, you won’t lose yourself, you won’t end up living a lie. You won’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

Farewell 2019, the year that forced me to find myself and my truth, to stand on my own, to watch everything I feared unfold before my eyes, to make all the difficult decisions that I was running away from, to protect my own heart by breaking it over and over again and still survive, and still hope, and still dream of better and bigger things.

2019 will always be the year that tried to kill me but I survived and the year that prepared me for whatever challenges 2020 plans on bringing, but for now, all I can hope for, just like I do every year, is for 2020 to be kind. I hope 2020 is the calm after the storm. I hope 2020 is the year I thrive but regardless of what it plans on bringing, I’m ready.

2020, I’m so ready for you!

You Won’t Recognize Me Now

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You won’t recognize this new me,
you won’t recognize my laughter,
I don’t find your jokes funny anymore.
You won’t recognize my eyes,
they no longer admire you,
they no longer look for you.

You won’t recognize my hands,
they no longer long for your touch,
they no longer want to hold you.
You won’t recognize my energy,
I’m not available to you anymore,
I’m not yours this time and
it’s your turn to feel my absence.

You won’t recognize my heart,
it doesn’t beat for you anymore,
it doesn’t miss you,
it’s not the same.
Or maybe it is,
maybe it has always been this way.
People break it
thinking it won’t mend itself
or heal
but it always bounces back
even stronger.
It always comes back to me,
intact
unable to settle
for half-hearted love
or mediocre relationships.

You won’t recognize me now,
look at me all you want
but you will never see me
because I put myself back together
in ways you will never understand. 

A LETTER TO THE ONES I HAD TO LET GO

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Photo by Ömürden Cengiz on Unsplash

Letter Fourteen from my book All The Letters I Should Have Sent. 

Let me tell you how I did it. Let me tell you how I got your ghosts out of my system.

I stopped thinking about you late at night when I was alone wishing you were there so I could talk to you. I started talking to my best friends. I started reading. I started writing. Because I realized they’ve all been there for me in all the ways you weren’t and they’re still here with me but you’re gone.

I stopped staring at my phone when something good happens hoping you would say something and I stopped staring at it when something bad happens tempted to call you and tell you about it because you never wanted to celebrate with me and you never wanted to give me a shoulder to cry on when my tears wouldn’t stop falling.

I remembered that I couldn’t count on you to make me smile when you’re the ones who made me cry.

I stopped comparing anyone I met to you. I stopped believing in the same spark that burned me—the flames that turned to ashes.

I’m done living in this illusion I’ve created with you and I’m ready to face my new reality without you.

And finally, I stopped thinking that you’ll come back one day. I stopped wanting you to fight for me because the truth is, I don’t want a fight—love shouldn’t be about fighting and it shouldn’t be a war. It shouldn’t be a battle of who cares more and who’s going to fall harder. It shouldn’t be about winning and losing.

And if it is, then I don’t want it. Maybe I’m just a dreamer but I believe that love should be easy, it should be simple and clear. It shouldn’t be all questions and games and it shouldn’t leave you wondering or waiting.

And maybe I’m just a dreamer but I believe that love should be magic and it should leave you in awe.

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If you’d like to purchase the paperback version of my sold out books please email me: ranianaimwriting@gmail.com

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Writer & Poet