Tag Archives: Transformation

Fall: A Season To Rise Again

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It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. The sound of my feet brushing through the leaves, the smell of the trees along with the light breeze that rejuvenates my soul and reminds me of new beginnings and fresh starts. It reminds me of rebirth and transformation. It reminds me that sometimes when things fall, they bring beauty, charm and comfort and it somehow resembles the changes in my life. The seasons I go through. My internal transformation. My very own rebirth.

It’s that time of the year again. When I look back on all seasons and realize how each one of them brought a different lesson, how each one of them taught me something vital. Winter brought a sense of freedom, I released all the burdens of the year before and decided to start with a little bit of lightness and peace of mind, somehow I liked not being tied down to anything. I liked not being with anyone. I liked enjoying my life and focusing on my own needs. I liked getting to know myself all over again.

Then spring came along with its sunshine, rainbows, butterflies and renewed hopes and dreams. I had amazing connections, met wonderful people and opened up my heart again and it reminded me that I’m still capable of letting people in, being vulnerable and giving even when the old heartbreak still stings. I believed in my heart again. I believed in my ability to recover and just like spring, my heart and my feelings bloomed again just when I thought they were dead.

Then came summer with all its heat and a few waves came crashing down on me that I no longer had the urge to swim but what summer teaches you is there is always a new day, there is always a new adventure, there is always a new trip and love will always be around you. Summer came and I was reminded that if you have the right friends, the right people around you, there’s nothing you can’t survive and there’s nothing you can’t overcome because those are the people that will help you face the biggest waves in your life and you will never drown.

And here comes fall as I am standing on my feet feeling alive again. I curled up with my winter resilience and basked in the sweet taste of spring and washed off the turbulent waves of summer and they all led me here. All the lessons, all the memories, all the tears, all the confusion, all the laughter, all the disappointments and all the surprises I didn’t see coming. They all contributed to my transformation. They all shaped me up and reaffirmed what I’ve always known that if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t know how to survive on your own, you’ll never be able to adapt to the seasons of your life and find the joy in each one. You will never be able to warm yourself up in winter or transform into a butterfly in spring or swim through the ebb and flow of summer and you will definitely not be able to liberate yourself as you walk through the breezy days of fall.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season and a dichotomy between the meaning of the word and what it truly embodies. The word ‘fall’ signifies things falling apart or falling down but somehow it’s the season where I rise again, it’s the season where I put myself together again, it’s the season where I do a little movie scene of my own. I’m standing across the fallen leaves, the wind blowing in my hair, I look up the sky with arms wide open and I do a happy dance. I’m alive and breathing. I’m liberated. I free myself from the shackles of my mind. I accept everything that happened. There’s no need to dwell anymore. There’s no need to fight back. There’s no need to find answers. I know my rebirth is just around the corner.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. A season to let go. A season to start over. A season to hope for more. A season to dream. A season to love your journey. A season to be proud of how far you’ve come. A season to heal your wounds. And ironically a season to rise again higher than you could ever imagine.

2019, I’m Ready To Let You Go

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2019, I’m ready to let you go.

This time, I’m saying goodbye to what could be the most challenging year of my life. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was challenging. It gave me so much to remember yet so much to forget. It brought me so much joy but also a lot of tears. It gave me so much to be thankful for but took away a few valuable things.

2019, this is my bittersweet farewell to you.

Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart because I knew deep down I wasn’t getting the kind of love I deserved. I had to choose myself instead of settling for being an option to someone else. I had to pick being alone again over someone who was never going to value me or make an effort to be in my life. I had to once again admit to myself that I made the wrong choice and it was not too late to right my wrongs. It’s never too late to realize that you made a mistake because you can always make things right again. Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart to save it. Farewell to the day I decided to do things the hard way because I wasn’t ready to lose myself again in the arms of the wrong person and I wasn’t ready to go back on what I always believed in just to make someone else happy. Especially someone who didn’t take my happiness very seriously.

Farewell to the days I saw my loved ones suffer; either from illnesses or losses or painful experiences. The days that make you reevaluate your life and your choices. The days that make you reflect on the meaning of life and security. The days that teach you the hard way that you’re not always in control and that God will always have the last word. The days you’re never prepared for but have to face anyway and utilize all your strength, faith, wisdom, patience and resilience. The days that present you with the hardest tests in life, the ones you didn’t study for, the ones you need to pass anyway. The ones that force you to burst every bubble and step out of your comfort zone. Farewell to the days that broke my heart in irreparable ways.

But more than anything, farewell to the old me, the person I was before this year started, the person who was fearful and confused and scared. The person who didn’t know if they could start over or make things happen or walk away from certain people. Farewell to the person who was stuck either professionally or personally or romantically because if 2019 taught me anything, it’s that if you can take every challenge, every setback, every painful heartbreak, every loss, every tragedy and every missed opportunity as a sign that you need to grow or change your life or yourself and you actually do something about it, then you’ll never have a bad year. You’ll always win even if you don’t have the right cards dealt for you as long as you learn how to play them. And if you can search for the truth within you and among others even if it hurts, you won’t lose yourself, you won’t end up living a lie. You won’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

Farewell 2019, the year that forced me to find myself and my truth, to stand on my own, to watch everything I feared unfold before my eyes, to make all the difficult decisions that I was running away from, to protect my own heart by breaking it over and over again and still survive, and still hope, and still dream of better and bigger things.

2019 will always be the year that tried to kill me but I survived and the year that prepared me for whatever challenges 2020 plans on bringing, but for now, all I can hope for, just like I do every year, is for 2020 to be kind. I hope 2020 is the calm after the storm. I hope 2020 is the year I thrive but regardless of what it plans on bringing, I’m ready.

2020, I’m so ready for you!