Tag: Change

Fall: A Season To Rise Again

Fall: A Season To Rise Again

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
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It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. The sound of my feet brushing through the leaves, the smell of the trees along with the light breeze that rejuvenates my soul and reminds me of new beginnings and fresh starts. It reminds me of rebirth and transformation. It reminds me that sometimes when things fall, they bring beauty, charm and comfort and it somehow resembles the changes in my life. The seasons I go through. My internal transformation. My very own rebirth.

It’s that time of the year again. When I look back on all seasons and realize how each one of them brought a different lesson, how each one of them taught me something vital. Winter brought a sense of freedom, I released all the burdens of the year before and decided to start with a little bit of lightness and peace of mind, somehow I liked not being tied down to anything. I liked not being with anyone. I liked enjoying my life and focusing on my own needs. I liked getting to know myself all over again.

Then spring came along with its sunshine, rainbows, butterflies and renewed hopes and dreams. I had amazing connections, met wonderful people and opened up my heart again and it reminded me that I’m still capable of letting people in, being vulnerable and giving even when the old heartbreak still stings. I believed in my heart again. I believed in my ability to recover and just like spring, my heart and my feelings bloomed again just when I thought they were dead.

Then came summer with all its heat and a few waves came crashing down on me that I no longer had the urge to swim but what summer teaches you is there is always a new day, there is always a new adventure, there is always a new trip and love will always be around you. Summer came and I was reminded that if you have the right friends, the right people around you, there’s nothing you can’t survive and there’s nothing you can’t overcome because those are the people that will help you face the biggest waves in your life and you will never drown.

And here comes fall as I am standing on my feet feeling alive again. I curled up with my winter resilience and basked in the sweet taste of spring and washed off the turbulent waves of summer and they all led me here. All the lessons, all the memories, all the tears, all the confusion, all the laughter, all the disappointments and all the surprises I didn’t see coming. They all contributed to my transformation. They all shaped me up and reaffirmed what I’ve always known that if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t know how to survive on your own, you’ll never be able to adapt to the seasons of your life and find the joy in each one. You will never be able to warm yourself up in winter or transform into a butterfly in spring or swim through the ebb and flow of summer and you will definitely not be able to liberate yourself as you walk through the breezy days of fall.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season and a dichotomy between the meaning of the word and what it truly embodies. The word ‘fall’ signifies things falling apart or falling down but somehow it’s the season where I rise again, it’s the season where I put myself together again, it’s the season where I do a little movie scene of my own. I’m standing across the fallen leaves, the wind blowing in my hair, I look up the sky with arms wide open and I do a happy dance. I’m alive and breathing. I’m liberated. I free myself from the shackles of my mind. I accept everything that happened. There’s no need to dwell anymore. There’s no need to fight back. There’s no need to find answers. I know my rebirth is just around the corner.

It’s that time of the year again. Fall, my favorite season. A season to let go. A season to start over. A season to hope for more. A season to dream. A season to love your journey. A season to be proud of how far you’ve come. A season to heal your wounds. And ironically a season to rise again higher than you could ever imagine.

This Is Your Closure

This Is Your Closure

by Rania Naim ♥ 1 Comment

joshua-rawson-harris-590622-unsplash
Unsplash/Joshua Rawson-Harris

Maybe he really loved you.
Maybe she really cared.
He probably wasn’t lying
when he said you were special.
She probably was telling the truth
when she told you she needed you.
Maybe he was truly afraid of losing you.
Maybe she did see a future with you.
Maybe everything that was said at the moment was true.
Maybe they weren’t all lies.
Maybe all these promises were
never meant to be broken.
But here’s what makes all the difference,
here’s the one question you should always ask yourself —
Where are they now?
Why didn’t they stay?
Why didn’t they hold on? 
Why weren’t they beside you
when you didn’t have anyone by your side?
Why did he leave?
Why did she walk away?
Because he can be prince charming
when things are pretty
and she can be your biggest fan
when you’re saying all the right things,
but when the ride gets bumpy
and the road gets darker
and you’re lost in the middle of nowhere
you’ll need someone who shows up for you.
Someone who stays with you
until you find your way home
or someone who gets lost with you.
Because you’ve been walking alone
and you’re good at it.
You know how to get around and
you know you will eventually find your way
but if you’re going to pick someone to join you
don’t pick the one who is going to drop you off
at the nearest exit,
pick the one who will stick around till the end.
Pick the one who blasts the music so loud to silence your fears.
Pick the one who holds your hand and tells you you’re almost there.
Pick the one who will go anywhere with you.
So here’s your closure;
it’s not about whether or not they meant what they said
or whether their feelings were true.
It’s about where they are now
Are they here with you?
or are they driving away?
And if they drove away
please keep walking alone.
You don’t need another temporary passenger.
You don’t need another fictitious closure.

When In Doubt, Lead With Faith

When In Doubt, Lead With Faith

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Unsplash/Joshua Rawson-Harris

I know we’re only halfway through the year but I can already say that 2018 will be a year to remember. I can already sum up what the last 7 months were trying to teach me in three words; lead with faith.

I’ve never been much of a planner because I’m not good at planning anything, especially when it comes to my life but for the past 3 years I planned everything to a T because all I wanted was for my life to be in order and fall into place because I was tired of running around and being lost and just going with the flow. So I took control and while it did give me the stability that I was looking for, it robbed me out of my happiness, my spontaneity, my zest for life and adventure.

I was always worried about tomorrow, about how many hours I have left in the day to go through all my plans, about how many months left until I’m one year older with a societal checklist I needed to strike off so I can catch up with all my friends who got married, had kids and are planning their next family vacation to Europe.

I was beginning to lose sight of what I wanted for myself because I was told that I needed to be more organized, more logical, more put together and more traditional. I was told that I needed to be anything but myself.

And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t work for me, after all, there’s a reason why people conform, it’s easier there. It’s a little bit more predictable. It’s a little less chaotic.

Until I was standing one day looking at the cookie as it crumbles piece by piece right in front of my eyes. I was standing there stoic. Watching everything I’ve ever built collapse. Watching all my plans make a U-turn. Watching every single dream of mine evaporate.

And then it hit me, I planned for everything but I forgot to plan for the day when all the plans stop working. I forgot to plan for the day I lose. I was so focused on winning that I didn’t think losing was even an option.

But today, as I begin to pick up the pieces slowly, I can safely say I’m leading with faith. I still don’t have a steady plan. I still don’t know my final destination. I still have a lot of things to fix but I am leading with faith and it’s making me feel alive again.

Faith that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Faith that the things I thought I lost were actually triumphs in disguise. Faith that those hard 7 months were exactly the fuel I needed to take off and land somewhere new. Faith that the change I need in my life is coming and it’s going to be bigger and brighter than what I had planned for myself.

Because that’s the beauty of leading with faith, it rewards you in the end. You don’t lose when you lead with faith. You can only win.

The other day my friend was telling how we should all believe that we are larger than life and how we shouldn’t let the hard times or the wrong people make us feel small or insignificant. At first, I laughed at her ‘larger than life’ comment but then I thought about it, why is it so hard for us to believe that we are larger than life and that better things are actually coming our way? Why can’t we just lead with the kind of faith that makes us feel powerful, strong and loved? Why can’t we just breathe and believe that things will be okay?

And that’s what I’m going to start doing. I’m leading with faith. I’m walking into an unknown universe with open arms because I’m not scared anymore. I have something within me that’s larger than life…. and you — you have it too.

Another Way To Look At Things Falling Apart

Another Way To Look At Things Falling Apart

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Screen Shot 2018-04-02 at 4.27.46 PM

Today, I want to talk about things falling apart.

It’s funny how one month can make you question everything. March was such a transitional month for me. A lot of things changed in my personal and professional life and it made me question and rethink a lot of things.

Often, we get carried away with a certain fantasy in our head or a certain life we want to live to the point where we convince ourselves that this is the life we’ve been dreaming of and it’s finally here and the world is better now but then something happens that shakes up this so-called ‘perfect’ life and you’re faced with the hard questions again, the real painful questions you’ve been stifling; is that the life I want to live? Is this is where I want to live? Is that the person I want to love? Is that the kind of friend I need?

And when the answer is shockingly no to all these questions, you’re forced to start over. You’re forced to step back and see things for what they are and people for who they are. You’re forced to stop romanticizing your life and start being a realist again. Change is hard. Disappointment sucks. Feeling like you’ve been betrayed or taken for granted or lied to hurts like hell.

But you know what hurts even more? Pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. Playing dumb when you know better. Underestimating your own ability to walk away from a life that no longer serves you.

Things fall apart so you can change something within you. They fall apart to teach you something really important; the wrong people, the wrong city, the wrong friends will never give you the life of your dreams.

I feel like this month God has ended everything I once lived for or believed in. I feel like in a way he cleansed my life for me, granted, it was a bit too sudden, too abrupt like the saying when it rains it pours, but at the same time, I feel like this is what I’ve been praying for so I can’t really complain. I’ve been praying for clarity, I’ve been praying to find where I belong, I’ve been praying to figure out if I should let go or hold on and I feel like God gave me the answers all at once. You see, praying is for the brave. You have to be brave enough to face the truth even if it’s not the one you hoped for.

Then I remembered one of my favorite quotes from Eat Pray Love ‘Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.’

I’ve been in my bubble for two years. I got comfortable with the way things have been even when they weren’t making me happy. I took whatever I could get without believing that I can do better. I settled and when you settle, there will always be a void you can’t fill, there will always be something missing even though you can’t pinpoint it. There will always be a person inside you waiting for you to move, or say something or change or take a leap of faith because this is not who you are. You are lying to yourself. You are withholding your own truth and delaying your own fortune.

And that’s how I feel about things falling apart, they’re not actually falling apart to destroy you, they’re falling apart to save you. They’re falling apart to protect you. They’re falling apart so you can transform your life.

So accept that ruin can sometimes be a gift from the universe. Ruin can build up better things. Ruin is not always favorable but if that’s the way the cookie crumbles, then we must figure out a way to enjoy the deliciousness and sweetness of it all, even if it’s crumbs for now because the day it all falls back together, the day things fall back into place, we’ll be glad we didn’t ruin our lives when things were falling apart. We’ll be glad we held on instead of falling down with it. We’ll be glad we survived the worst because it only means things will get better. It only means that the best is yet to come.

So on those hard days when it feels like everything is falling apart, I’ll always remember this quote and feel hopeful again. “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”