If This Is The End Of Our Story, I Want You To Know That You’re My Favorite Chapter

If This Is The End Of Our Story, I Want You To Know That You’re My Favorite Chapter

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I don’t believe that timing should be a barrier in moving a relationship forward. Maybe it makes it harder but it doesn’t make it impossible. I’m also a firm believer that things have a way of falling into place, they have a way of unfolding naturally and I’m a firm believer that if something is meant to happen, then against all odds, it will happen.

So if our story does not end here, I hope I’m still the same when you’re back.

I hope I don’t lose an inch of respect for you. I hope I can still admire your qualities whether you’re near or far and I hope I can still go to you for advice and I hope you still care.

I hope that when we meet again, we can still look at each other the way we did before timing and distance got in the way and I hope that the time we spent apart would help us realize what we truly meant to each other.

I hope our story is not like all other short stories; I hope our story is long, full of plot twists, surprises, lessons and I hope our story has a happy ending.

I hope we can look back at that time as an intermission, not an ending. As a cliff hanger, not the end of a show and I hope we’re meant to go our separate ways so we can reunite again stronger, wiser and more forgiving.

But if this is the end of our story; if this is all it will ever be, then I hope that when we meet again, we’re both happy, I hope we can still wish the best for each other because we both know how much we struggled to find meaning, to find love and find ourselves.

If I see you again and I don’t feel a thing, I hope there’s no bitterness, no resentment, and no sadness. I hope we can be a reminder of how God sometimes brings two people together to heal each other and once they’re both healed, they move on to better and bigger things.

Maybe healing is not the same thing as loving. Maybe other people heal you so other people can love you. Maybe we all improve each other for someone else.

But if this is the end of our story, then I want you to know that you are my favorite chapter, the chapter I will go back and read when I want to smile and the chapter I will go back and read when the story gets boring and I hope I’m your favorite chapter too.

If our story doesn’t have a happy ending, I hope we’re the chapter that led to it and I hope we are the reason why we started believing in happy endings again.

But if we are meant for each other, then I hope we’re both still on the same page when we meet again, that we can pick up exactly where we left off and keep writing the rest of our story together.

A letter from my book All The Letters I Should Have Sent.
2018, I’m Ready To Let You Go

2018, I’m Ready To Let You Go

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Photo by Megan Lewis on Unsplash

I’m ready.

I’m ready to let you go. I’m so ready to let you go. You weren’t the easiest or the happiest and I’m ready to say goodbye to everything you’ve brought. I’m ready to let go of the parts of you that disappointed me, the people who let me down, the moments that I couldn’t hold myself together and the times when I almost gave up on myself.

I learned.

You taught me a few important lessons the hard way. You taught me that nothing is ever predictable, especially people. You taught me that family could easily diminish your value in a moment of anger, friends could replace you when they find their significant other, people can lie to your heart and break it just to mend theirs, but most of all you taught me how to stand alone, which will always be the hardest lesson for me, but you proved to me that the only person I can control is me and the only person I can really count on is also me. You taught me not to get too attached to people or trust too much or love too much. You taught me that I have to always guard myself even from the closest people to my heart. But…..

I forgive you.

I forgive you for all the pain, the betrayal, the unpleasant surprises, and the confusion. I forgive you for the countless nights you made me sleep with tears in my eyes. I forgive you for making the happy times short-lived. I forgive you for not going the way I wanted you to go. Maybe there is something about you that will help me in the years to come. Maybe as much as I want to forget you, you will be the year I look back on to avoid future disasters or think twice before getting close to someone again or maybe you’ll be the year that brought me closer to myself and that will make all the difference. However…

I appreciate you.

You still brought me a lot of blessings. A lot of laughter. A lot of unforgettable moments and people. A lot of memories that will make me smile for years to come. Ironically, as much as you made me feel dead inside, you brought me moments that made me feel alive like never before. You had your way of making up for the bad times or the hard times and I appreciate you for making a few things better. I appreciate you for giving me just enough to keep going, to keep believing, to look forward to what’s coming next and to have faith that the best is yet to come.

I’m going to get over you.

I’m already healing from your wounds. I’m already looking ahead. I’m done living in your sob story. I’m done being your victim. I’m done letting you take so much space and energy. I’m done dwelling on all the things I didn’t do and all the dreams you didn’t let me live. I’m done trying to make everything happen before you end.

You weren’t the year for me and it’s time to move on. It’s time to let you go.

2019 —

I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know what you hold for me, I don’t know if you’ll be better or worse, but I know that I’m ready for you. I’ve survived the worst and now I’m ready to write a new story on your empty pages, literally. I can only hope that this time, it’s going to be a happy one. I can only hope that this time, you are the year for me.