Tag Archives: Truth

I Am Slowly Learning That I Don’t Have To Believe The Stories Others Have Written About Me

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Unsplash/Mark Alexandrovich

I am slowly learning that I don’t have to believe the stories others have written about me. I don’t have to be the character they want to be. I don’t have to give them the happy ending they want. It’s not their story. It’s mine and I won’t let them take the pen away from me again.

They want to paint me as the villain so they can sleep better at night or they want to paint me as the victim so they can feel powerful and victorious. They want to paint me as the crazy, rebellious, lost soul so they can feel like they have someone to guide whereas they’re the ones who really need guidance. They want to paint me as the inconsiderate, heartless kid so they can justify the hurtful words they said.

I am slowly learning that some people will always mold you into their story the way they want it to be because everyone wants to be the hero in their own story, no one wants to be the bad guy. No one wants to write the truth. Everyone wants to write the reality they wish they were living and when you give them something that changes that narrative, they will do their best to write you off because changing their script means facing realities they’ve neglected for years. Changing their script means starting over. Changing their script means exposing their lies and some people out there love living a lie — a fabricated story they tell people so they can glorify themselves.

But I am slowly learning that I’m not like that. I write my story the way it is even if it hurts. I don’t write lies and believe them. I don’t write a fake reality so I can impress people. I write everything they erase. I write all the words they don’t want me to say out loud. I tell the stories they don’t want anyone to know. I don’t sugarcoat their bitterness.

And maybe that’s why they paint me as the villain and maybe I’m okay with that because a person who has already lost everything has nothing more to lose and even if they break all my fingers, I’m not giving them the pen again because my story will always glorify my honesty and their story will always glorify their lies. And maybe that’s why we can’t read the same story and maybe that’s why our story is finally over.

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I Hope You Never Stop Falling In Love With Your Journey

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Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

I know you’re tired. I know you’re ready to give up and throw in the towel because you’ve had enough. I know that sometimes even the most comforting words from the closest people don’t take the pain away. I know it’s been one hell of a ride and you’re ready to just drop everything and leave but I hope you don’t see this as the end. I hope you still have the fire inside of you that pushed you to start in the first place. To fight for your life. To fight for your happiness. To take the road less traveled. I hope you find that fire again that once fueled you to run and chase the life of your dreams. I hope you don’t get tired of trying and starting over because you’re one step closer to finding your treasure. Your journey doesn’t end with pain. Your journey ends with victory if you keep finding the strength to persevere.

I hope you remain hopeful. I hope you’re still brimming with excitement about your future and the glorious opportunities life still has in store for you. I hope you never stop trusting the universe. I hope you never lose faith in God. I hope you never stop believing that the best is yet to come.

I know you’re heartbroken. I know you keep building walls instead of bridges. I know you’re fine on your own and you don’t need anyone but I hope you never stop believing in love. I hope that the right smile still touches your heart and the right eyes still capture your soul. I hope you still believe people when they tell you they love you. I hope you know how lovable you really are. I hope your heart still beats when you get that text or that call. I hope you can still open up. I hope you didn’t let the wrong ones close you off from the right one. I hope you’re still looking for that magical connection.

And I hope you’re still looking for magic, period! I hope you know that life will never look like a fairytale and your timing will never perfectly align with your desires but I hope you know that this journey ends with victory. Your journey ends with joy. Maybe at times, it can be too chaotic, too dramatic or too difficult but it’s also too beautiful, too amazing and most of all, full of marvelous surprises. And I hope you still love surprises because the best moments in life will always be the ones that take us completely by surprise. 

Another Way To Look At Things Falling Apart

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Today, I want to talk about things falling apart.

It’s funny how one month can make you question everything. March was such a transitional month for me. A lot of things changed in my personal and professional life and it made me question and rethink a lot of things.

Often, we get carried away with a certain fantasy in our head or a certain life we want to live to the point where we convince ourselves that this is the life we’ve been dreaming of and it’s finally here and the world is better now but then something happens that shakes up this so-called ‘perfect’ life and you’re faced with the hard questions again, the real painful questions you’ve been stifling; is that the life I want to live? Is this is where I want to live? Is that the person I want to love? Is that the kind of friend I need?

And when the answer is shockingly no to all these questions, you’re forced to start over. You’re forced to step back and see things for what they are and people for who they are. You’re forced to stop romanticizing your life and start being a realist again. Change is hard. Disappointment sucks. Feeling like you’ve been betrayed or taken for granted or lied to hurts like hell.

But you know what hurts even more? Pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. Playing dumb when you know better. Underestimating your own ability to walk away from a life that no longer serves you.

Things fall apart so you can change something within you. They fall apart to teach you something really important; the wrong people, the wrong city, the wrong friends will never give you the life of your dreams.

I feel like this month God has ended everything I once lived for or believed in. I feel like in a way he cleansed my life for me, granted, it was a bit too sudden, too abrupt like the saying when it rains it pours, but at the same time, I feel like this is what I’ve been praying for so I can’t really complain. I’ve been praying for clarity, I’ve been praying to find where I belong, I’ve been praying to figure out if I should let go or hold on and I feel like God gave me the answers all at once. You see, praying is for the brave. You have to be brave enough to face the truth even if it’s not the one you hoped for.

Then I remembered one of my favorite quotes from Eat Pray Love ‘Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.’

I’ve been in my bubble for two years. I got comfortable with the way things have been even when they weren’t making me happy. I took whatever I could get without believing that I can do better. I settled and when you settle, there will always be a void you can’t fill, there will always be something missing even though you can’t pinpoint it. There will always be a person inside you waiting for you to move, or say something or change or take a leap of faith because this is not who you are. You are lying to yourself. You are withholding your own truth and delaying your own fortune.

And that’s how I feel about things falling apart, they’re not actually falling apart to destroy you, they’re falling apart to save you. They’re falling apart to protect you. They’re falling apart so you can transform your life.

So accept that ruin can sometimes be a gift from the universe. Ruin can build up better things. Ruin is not always favorable but if that’s the way the cookie crumbles, then we must figure out a way to enjoy the deliciousness and sweetness of it all, even if it’s crumbs for now because the day it all falls back together, the day things fall back into place, we’ll be glad we didn’t ruin our lives when things were falling apart. We’ll be glad we held on instead of falling down with it. We’ll be glad we survived the worst because it only means things will get better. It only means that the best is yet to come.

So on those hard days when it feels like everything is falling apart, I’ll always remember this quote and feel hopeful again. “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”