If This Is The End Of Our Story, I Want You To Know That You’re My Favorite Chapter

If This Is The End Of Our Story, I Want You To Know That You’re My Favorite Chapter

priscilla-du-preez-aTkJ13pvOd8-unsplash
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I don’t believe that timing should be a barrier in moving a relationship forward. Maybe it makes it harder but it doesn’t make it impossible. I’m also a firm believer that things have a way of falling into place, they have a way of unfolding naturally and I’m a firm believer that if something is meant to happen, then against all odds, it will happen.

So if our story does not end here, I hope I’m still the same when you’re back.

I hope I don’t lose an inch of respect for you. I hope I can still admire your qualities whether you’re near or far and I hope I can still go to you for advice and I hope you still care.

I hope that when we meet again, we can still look at each other the way we did before timing and distance got in the way and I hope that the time we spent apart would help us realize what we truly meant to each other.

I hope our story is not like all other short stories; I hope our story is long, full of plot twists, surprises, lessons and I hope our story has a happy ending.

I hope we can look back at that time as an intermission, not an ending. As a cliff hanger, not the end of a show and I hope we’re meant to go our separate ways so we can reunite again stronger, wiser and more forgiving.

But if this is the end of our story; if this is all it will ever be, then I hope that when we meet again, we’re both happy, I hope we can still wish the best for each other because we both know how much we struggled to find meaning, to find love and find ourselves.

If I see you again and I don’t feel a thing, I hope there’s no bitterness, no resentment, and no sadness. I hope we can be a reminder of how God sometimes brings two people together to heal each other and once they’re both healed, they move on to better and bigger things.

Maybe healing is not the same thing as loving. Maybe other people heal you so other people can love you. Maybe we all improve each other for someone else.

But if this is the end of our story, then I want you to know that you are my favorite chapter, the chapter I will go back and read when I want to smile and the chapter I will go back and read when the story gets boring and I hope I’m your favorite chapter too.

If our story doesn’t have a happy ending, I hope we’re the chapter that led to it and I hope we are the reason why we started believing in happy endings again.

But if we are meant for each other, then I hope we’re both still on the same page when we meet again, that we can pick up exactly where we left off and keep writing the rest of our story together.

A letter from my book All The Letters I Should Have Sent.
I Hope This Is The Year Where Everything Changes

I Hope This Is The Year Where Everything Changes

Screen Shot 2018-12-30 at 1.42.27 PM
Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash

I hope this is the year where everything changes.

I hope this is the year where you find yourself.

I hope this is the year where you stop being lost and finally take the right turn that leads you to your true path.

I hope this is the year where you take a leap of faith and it changes your life.

I hope this is the year where you get rewarded for all you’ve endured during the past few years.

I hope this is the year where you heal from everything that caused you pain.

I hope this is the year where all the things you’ve been waiting for happen.

I hope this is the year where you dust yourself off and start seeing things clearly again.

I hope this is the year where you get reintroduced to yourself, your potential and your worth.

I hope this is the year where you find the road to your wishes easier to navigate.

I hope this is the year where all your broken pieces come together so you could feel whole again.

I hope this is the year where you find the answers you’ve been looking for.

I hope this is the year where you get the closure you’ve been seeking.

I hope this is the year where you find hope again and renew your faith in life and in yourself.

I hope this is the year where you fall in love with yourself again and release everyone who couldn’t love you.

I hope this is the year where you stand tall and shine again.

I hope this is the year where you find things easily coming together instead of falling apart.

I hope this year is the year to remember.

I hope this is your year.

Another Way To Look At Things Falling Apart

Another Way To Look At Things Falling Apart

Screen Shot 2018-04-02 at 4.27.46 PM

Today, I want to talk about things falling apart.

It’s funny how one month can make you question everything. March was such a transitional month for me. A lot of things changed in my personal and professional life and it made me question and rethink a lot of things.

Often, we get carried away with a certain fantasy in our head or a certain life we want to live to the point where we convince ourselves that this is the life we’ve been dreaming of and it’s finally here and the world is better now but then something happens that shakes up this so-called ‘perfect’ life and you’re faced with the hard questions again, the real painful questions you’ve been stifling; is that the life I want to live? Is this is where I want to live? Is that the person I want to love? Is that the kind of friend I need?

And when the answer is shockingly no to all these questions, you’re forced to start over. You’re forced to step back and see things for what they are and people for who they are. You’re forced to stop romanticizing your life and start being a realist again. Change is hard. Disappointment sucks. Feeling like you’ve been betrayed or taken for granted or lied to hurts like hell.

But you know what hurts even more? Pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. Playing dumb when you know better. Underestimating your own ability to walk away from a life that no longer serves you.

Things fall apart so you can change something within you. They fall apart to teach you something really important; the wrong people, the wrong city, the wrong friends will never give you the life of your dreams.

I feel like this month God has ended everything I once lived for or believed in. I feel like in a way he cleansed my life for me, granted, it was a bit too sudden, too abrupt like the saying when it rains it pours, but at the same time, I feel like this is what I’ve been praying for so I can’t really complain. I’ve been praying for clarity, I’ve been praying to find where I belong, I’ve been praying to figure out if I should let go or hold on and I feel like God gave me the answers all at once. You see, praying is for the brave. You have to be brave enough to face the truth even if it’s not the one you hoped for.

Then I remembered one of my favorite quotes from Eat Pray Love ‘Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.’

I’ve been in my bubble for two years. I got comfortable with the way things have been even when they weren’t making me happy. I took whatever I could get without believing that I can do better. I settled and when you settle, there will always be a void you can’t fill, there will always be something missing even though you can’t pinpoint it. There will always be a person inside you waiting for you to move, or say something or change or take a leap of faith because this is not who you are. You are lying to yourself. You are withholding your own truth and delaying your own fortune.

And that’s how I feel about things falling apart, they’re not actually falling apart to destroy you, they’re falling apart to save you. They’re falling apart to protect you. They’re falling apart so you can transform your life.

So accept that ruin can sometimes be a gift from the universe. Ruin can build up better things. Ruin is not always favorable but if that’s the way the cookie crumbles, then we must figure out a way to enjoy the deliciousness and sweetness of it all, even if it’s crumbs for now because the day it all falls back together, the day things fall back into place, we’ll be glad we didn’t ruin our lives when things were falling apart. We’ll be glad we held on instead of falling down with it. We’ll be glad we survived the worst because it only means things will get better. It only means that the best is yet to come.

So on those hard days when it feels like everything is falling apart, I’ll always remember this quote and feel hopeful again. “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”