Rania Naim

Rania Naim

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Rania Naim

Rania Naim

Instagram @ranianaim

I wish I could fix everything people broke in you. I wish I could erase every person who came into your life and left holes in your heart. I wish there was a way for me to rewind your past and erase every painful memory that made your life a little darker. I wish I had the power to go inside your heart and bring it back to what it used to be. I wish there was a way to go inside your heart and make it brave again. I wish I could just cleanse your heart and rid it of all the mess, all the chaos and all the heartbreaks. I wish I could show you the kind of love you’ve been missing but darling I’ve learned that love doesn’t work that way and healing doesn’t happen unless you feel it deep inside your soul. I learned that another human being can’t tell you how you should feel or who you should love or what kind of heart you should have. Love is the only force you can’t fight even if you know you’re going to lose and I wish I had the power to fight with you but darling that’s one battle you’re going to have to fight on your own. Because I’m also still healing. I’m still working on myself. I’m still trying to bring my old heart back. And I’m still trying to find a way to fix everything people broke in me. I’m still trying to heal the wounds inside my heart. I’m still trying to be brave again. To trust again. To love again. And sometimes I wish there was a way for me to stay without losing myself. Sometimes I wish my journey was simple and linear so I can easily turn a blind eye to reality. To the facts that I know too well. To the struggles that I’m still trying to get through. But here I am, still trying to mend the broken pieces. Still trying to make sense of my journey and still very cautious because I’m not ready to break my own heart again. Because darling I’ve learned that just like I can’t force you to change your heart or the way you love, I can’t force mine to change either. I’ve learned that if I can’t help you heal, I have to let you go. I've learned that I need to heal myself first.

I hope you wake up one morning and realize that you’re not stuck. That there’s something you can do about situations that are not working out for you. That life may be difficult but there is still a way to find the beauty in it. There’s a way to change the things that you have control over. There’s a road to new beginnings and new chapters and new doorways. I hope you wake up one morning and finally find the answers you’ve been seeking. You find a solution to your problems or a way to accept them or a way to deal with them. I hope you wake up one day and realize that you’re not defined by your problems or your circumstances. You’re not a victim of your past or your parents or your toxic relationships. I hope you wake up one morning and get over that person who broke your heart. I hope you realize there’s more to life than loving people who are not capable of loving you back. I hope one day you project that love onto yourself. I hope one day you realize that you deserve the kind of love you give others. I hope you wake up one morning and commit to changing the things that hold you back. I hope you know that you can change your life if you truly commit to making different choices, if you can truly do the things that you say you want to do. I hope you know that nothing is as terrifying as you think it is once you actually do it. I hope you always know that even if things don’t work out or go the way you had wished, you’ll always look back and be proud that you even tried, that you even dared. I hope you wake one morning and find the courage to drop all your fears and go after what you truly want. I hope you don’t let people stop you. I hope you don’t pay too much attention to their words or their judgments or their labels. Some people will always shame you for pursuing a different life, sometimes they’ll give you unsolicited advice without really knowing you or your story, sometimes they ruin beautiful things and they ruin you. I hope you wake up one morning and truly believe that you don’t have to live someone else’s story and that it’s never too late to start over and write a new one.

There’s a difference between someone who likes you and someone who appreciates you. There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re convenient and someone who thinks you’re irreplaceable. There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re hot and someone who thinks you’re beautiful. There’s a difference between someone who likes you for your body and someone who likes you for your soul. There’s a difference between someone who wants to spend quality time with you and someone who’s just looking for someone to entertain them. There’s a difference between someone who wants to keep you in their life forever and someone who wants you for a little while. There’s a difference between someone who loves the idea of you and someone who’s in love with you. There’s a difference between someone who keeps showing what you mean to them effortlessly and someone who shows you only when you ask them to. There’s a difference between someone you can count on and someone who finds excuses for not being there. There’s a difference between someone who sees a home in you and someone who only sees a vacation. They both exist. They both fulfill a certain need, but you have to ask yourself first what you’re truly looking for and where this person is or where this person can meet you. You have to ask yourself if you’re asking for too much or you’re just asking the wrong person. And most importantly, you have to be honest with yourself if you’re with someone who’s not on the same page. If you’re with someone who doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved. And if you know the answer and you’re afraid to make a decision, you just have to do it because nothing is worse than living a lie. Nothing is worse than trying to find love and happiness in the middle of heartbreak and chaos. You can never bloom in the wrong environment. You can never shine with someone who doesn't see your light. Because it can only be one of two things; there’s no in-between. It’s either the real deal or another fraud.

Self-love is the best remedy. It's the best form of healing. Self-love makes you stronger. It makes you open the door wide open for those who want to leave, those who think you’ll run after them when they walk away. Self-love gives you the confidence you need to know that you will be okay on your own and that you don’t need someone else to validate you or make you feel complete. Self-love makes you a fast learner. You don’t stay in a toxic situation for a long time. You end things that are not working for you or not serving you well. You walk away from those who don’t know how to value or respect you. Self-love allows you to put a barrier between you and those who hurt you. The best part of self-love is that it makes those around you powerless, they have no power over you or your emotions or your thoughts. Their absence won’t kill you or stop you from doing great things. Their insults will never get to you or shatter you because you know who you are and you like yourself that way and those who don’t see that, are not going to change how you see yourself. And people get very angry when you take away their power. They don’t like feeling that they can’t control you. They don’t like feeling that they can't manipulate you. Self-love doesn’t mean you feel superior to those around you and it doesn’t mean you’re stoic or cold-hearted. It just means you believe in yourself, you know what you want, you know what kind of love and respect you deserve and you’re not willing to accept anything less than that. It just means you’ve worked on yourself for a very long time and you’ve fought very tough battles to get to where you are today and you’re not willing to let another human being come in and demolish all of that. You’re not willing to let another human being dictate who you are or how you see yourself. Self-love is the result of all those years of healing, all those years of picking up the broken pieces, all those years of loneliness, all those years of self-doubt and you’re not willing to let anyone shatter all of that or even diminish a fraction of it. You’re not willing to let anyone break what took you years to build.

It may take months or years but what’s meant for you will always find its way to you. It may take a lot of patience, a lot of overcoming challenges, a lot of moments of despair and a lot of heartbreaks, but what’s meant for you will always be worth the wait. It will make the painful years a little easier to swallow. It will make the journey a little sweeter to look back on. Every challenge, every heartbreak, every setback is meant to get us closer to what’s truly meant for us because God doesn’t make us suffer for no good reason. God doesn’t take away blessings from us unless he knows it’s not going to bless us in the future. While we may never know why God does things a certain way or why he chooses to teach us some hard lessons, we have to believe that it’s all part of a bigger plan. We may not see or understand the whole picture now, but when it’s done, we will understand that every stroke had a purpose, we’ll see how every little dot came together to create something meaningful, something worth looking at, something worth remembering. It may take a while but what’s meant for you will not mistakenly be given to someone else. God doesn’t miss any targets. God doesn’t give someone else your piece of the cake. So rest assured, that if something is meant for you, even if the whole world is competing for it, it will be yours and yours only. And I think that’s the beauty of faith, knowing that after everything you’ve been through, there will be a reward. Whether it’s what you wished for or something better. Whether it’s what you’ve been waiting for or something beyond your wildest dreams. God is full of surprises and miracles. Maybe his timing doesn’t always align with ours and maybe his plans for us are nothing like the ones we planned for ourselves but it’s reassuring to know that at the end of it all, what’s meant for us will be ours, maybe we’ll stumble upon it, maybe it will require us to fight a few more battles, but it helps to know that once everything falls into place, what’s meant for us will not be taken away from us. What’s meant for us will always stay, despite all challenges, despite all difficulties and despite all opposition.

You are enough. You have always been. You may have fallen for a few wrong hearts that made you feel like you weren’t. You may have been with people who kept comparing you to their exes trying to mold you into someone you’re not. You may have been with people who made you feel like you’re so easy to replace and that made you question yourself and your worth but I hate to break it to you, they shouldn’t be the threshold you measure your self-worth on and they shouldn’t be an example of the people or the hearts that could truly love and adore you for who you are. We all forget sometimes that we could do so much better or we deserve a lot more. We all give discounts to the people we want to keep in our lives. We all make excuses for the people we see potential in but if it comes to a point where they make you feel like no matter what you do, you still won’t measure up to their idea of perfection, that’s when you should stop and cut your losses. Because no one deserves to feel that their best is never going to be good enough for someone’s shallow standards or someone’s unrealistic criteria of love. No one deserves to be treated like they are second best and no one deserves to spend their days trying to prove their worth to someone. So forgive yourself for all the times you settled because you thought that things might change. Forgive yourself for allowing people to stay in your life longer than they needed to. Forgive yourself for investing in people who never truly made an appealing offer to you. Because that’s how you learn and ironically, that’s how you remember your worth. That’s when you hear your inner voice yelling at you every time someone doesn’t appreciate you. That’s when your mind keeps you up at night begging you to walk away and that’s when your heart suddenly closes off because it’s done with temporary and fake declarations of love. It's done with those who don't know how to honor it. So forgive yourself for the times you fought for the wrong people, they eventually made you realize what’s worth fighting for. They taught you that you’ll never be enough for the wrong person but for the right one, you’ll always be more than enough.

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