Rania Naim

Rania Naim

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Rania Naim

Rania Naim

Instagram @ranianaim

May these times teach us how to be more loving, more forgiving and more compassionate. May these times teach us what’s important and what really matters. May these times teach us that life is fleeting and things can change in the blink of an eye so sometimes it’s better to say those words we’ve been dying to say, to make that call, to say I’m sorry or say I love you. May these times give us the push we needed to get things off our chests or apologize or express how we’re really feeling. May these times teach us not to take anything for granted; our family, our friends, our jobs and our own well-being. May these times remind us to take care of our bodies, our minds and compel us to change the things in our lives that disturb our inner peace or bring us down. May these times remind us of how important it is to have a home we want to go back to, people we want to stay stuck at home with and may it remind us that we can never run away from the truth, that eventually we will have to rest our head on our pillows and think of what really matters without the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. May these times force us to make long-term changes instead of chasing temporary happiness or instant gratification. May it remind us that there’s always a higher power we need to talk to or pray to when things fall apart when we don’t know what the future holds, when we’re scared to death and no other human being can reassure us or make us feel safe or protect us. May these times teach us that sometimes faith is the only answer and the only way to get through the things we can’t control or understand. May these times remind us how to believe or hope against all odds just because we have faith that somehow when the hurricane is over, the rainbow will follow. M ay these times teach us how to spend our coming days being kind to one another, being more loving, more accepting and more compassionate. May these times teach us a better way to live and may it push us to reflect on the meaning of our lives and how to make the rest of our days truly count.

I’m slowly learning how to spend my time wisely and invest in what’s truly worth my time. I’m slowly learning that I have the power to end things that don’t serve me and say goodbye to people who are not good for me. I’ve wasted enough time banging on closed doors and feeling stuck in a cage because I thought that eventually, things will change, that with time, the things that confined me will somehow set me free but I’m slowly learning that this was a mistake, that time seldom changes anything but only confirms what you already know. I’m slowly learning how to stop watering dead flowers and trying to revive hopeless situations. I’m slowly learning that some things are better left behind instead of trying to make them work. I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to waste my time trying to explain who I am to someone or trying to get someone to see my worth. I’m slowly learning how to leave toxic situations sooner than later. I’m slowly learning how to spot the red flags and the warning signs before it’s too late. I’m slowly learning not to be afraid of walking away because you almost never regret leaving toxic situations behind. You never regret pulling the plug on the things and people that caused you pain. I’m slowly learning that chasing things and people who are not meant for me will only hurt me in the end. I’m slowly learning that good things take time and it’s better to wait than waste your time trying to rush all the wrong things into your life. I’m slowly learning how to stop wasting my time looking back on all the people who wronged me. I’m slowly learning that I’ve already wasted a lot of time on the wrong people, the wrong jobs, the wrong friends and the wrong dreams but it’s never too late to take my time back and spend the next couple of years making up for this lost time. Growing, evolving, healing and giving myself the things I kept looking for in all the wrong places. I’m slowly learning how to stop wasting my time or how to stop rushing things and trust the timing of my life instead. I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to take my time when it comes to the things that truly matter.

You deserve to heal and get better for yourself before you heal for others. You deserve to find the things that make you happy and pursue them. You deserve to be loved in a way that doesn’t make you afraid of opening up or being vulnerable or trusting someone with your heart. You deserve to find inner peace because you’ve been through enough and you’ve fought the toughest battles and gone into wars with yourself and others to learn how to get better, to learn what you truly deserve and to finally understand that sometimes the biggest lessons come from the hardest battles and sometimes the best in you comes out after you’ve been through the worst. You deserve a life that makes you look forward to waking up every morning. You deserve a life that excites you not a life that bores you or wears you down because you’ve already experienced enough pain and dull moments, you’ve had your share of lonely nights and days when you felt dead inside. You deserve a life that makes you feel alive. You deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make you question yourself or your worth. The kind of love that makes you believe in yourself again because the person thinks you’re too important to lose. The person knows how to respect and value you. You deserve the kind of love that puts you first. You deserve effort, consistency and kindness. Because I’ve learned that for good things to come, you have to believe that you deserve them first. I’ve learned that if you truly want to attract amazing things, you have to wholeheartedly believe that you’re worthy of them. I’ve learned that for you to make things happen, you must first believe that they’re possible and they’re not out of your reach. I’ve learned that if you keep rejecting whatever it is that is bringing you pain instead of settling for it, you will eventually attract what your heart desires. I’ve learned that many times people will try to make you forget what you deserve or convince you that your standards are too high or your dreams are too big so you can settle, but as long as you keep remembering what you deserve and believing that you actually deserve it, you’ll be safe from all those trying to break you.

There’s no denying that life is unpredictable and more often than not we’re forced to make a change we didn’t really prepare for or expect. We lose jobs, we lose people, we move to another country or we find ourselves in unfavorable circumstances that we weren’t taught how to handle. These things force you to change something that you weren’t ready to change whether in your life or in yourself. And change is not always a bad thing, sometimes change allows you to free yourself from toxic situations or difficult circumstances. Sometimes change looks terrifying at first but once you dive deep into it, it becomes easier to navigate, easier to embrace and easier to accept. Sometimes change is exactly what you need to grow and shine, sometimes it’s the gift you didn’t know you needed even if it feels like the biggest curse. Because even if change is scary, there’s one good thing about it, you get to erase some of your past and start building a new future. You get a chance to change a part of you that held you back for so many years and you get a chance to be who you always truly wanted to be. Life brings about a lot of uncertainty and if you’re the kind of person who can’t accept that, your struggles in life will be a lot more than your joys. If you don’t change to adapt to certain situations or if you don’t change so you can free yourself from a life that’s making you unhappy, you will always be stuck and unaware of the power you have to change your life for the better or change yourself for the better. And even though change may be painful sometimes, it’s still better than the pain of feeling powerless and helpless as you watch your dreams pass you by because change brings opportunity, renewal and transformation and it also brings you one step closer to a more rewarding life because sometimes little changes lead to big results and sometimes change can be the most beautiful blessing in disguise.

When you choose to stay in a toxic relationship, you’re signing up for a painful life, sleepless nights, ugly fights and a constant battle between your heart and your mind. Every day is a struggle followed by the burning question; is it better to stay or leave. Will this person ever change or will it be more of the same? And it’s always ‘more of the same.’ You’re choosing to stay in a relationship that doesn’t allow you to be yourself. You’re walking on eggshells because you feel like you will be punished for the smallest mistake or the tiniest slip-up. You’re constantly watching what you say and what you do because you’re trying to avoid another episode of hurtful words and spiteful fights. You’re constantly regretting opening up about your deepest secrets because somehow they’re being used against you on a bad day. You’re constantly putting the other person’s feelings and needs above your own. You’re choosing to stay with someone who shows you how insignificant your feelings are and how flimsy your opinions are. Your communication is never received with respect and understanding and your boundaries are always taken lightly. You get used to a certain destructive pattern and somehow it becomes your norm. The only thing you’re getting out of your toxic relationship is pain because if it’s destroying, it’s not love and if it’s always bringing out the worst in you, it’s not love. If it involves a great deal of manipulation and emotional abuse then it’s not love. If it’s putting you through hell, it’s not love. And the reason why some people manipulate you to stay with them is that they know that the moment you see the truth, the moment you take off your blinders, the moment you remember how you should be treated, you will walk away and that wouldn’t serve their interests. They know that you’re one decision away from saying you’ve had enough and it’s time to say goodbye. But I guess the pain of breaking your own heart temporarily is better than having your heart broken by the same person every single day and I guess the pain of missing someone for a while is better than being with someone who condemns you forever.

Years later, I finally understood the essence of closure. The closure that I was chasing for years. I finally got it and it was a lot simpler than what I had in mind. It came in the form of patience as I saw everything I ever wanted unfold before my eyes and finally got the answers to all the burning questions I had. Years later, the closure came in the form of just letting things be and letting people realize their own mistakes. Years later, the real closure was simply me moving on from everything that broke me and healing myself instead. Because the real essence of closure is within you, it’s not what you get or hear from others. The real closure is you making peace with unfinished endings and unanswered questions and people who hurt you. The real closure comes when you’re not looking for it. You finally hear that long-awaited apology when you’re not seeking it as a way to validate your worth or value. You get that one message you’ve been waiting for when you stop staring at your phone. People come back to correct their wrongs only when you’re doing fine without them. The real essence of closure is not trying to get people to realize what they’ve done wrong, it’s more about you learning to live without receiving that closure or understanding why people did what they did. It’s more about learning how to separate who you are from what people do. It’s more about learning that closure is something you can find on your own whether people give it to you or not because the best kind of closure will always be the one you get after you’ve truly healed and moved on. The best closure will always be the one that doesn’t define you. The one that comes to you for reassurance, not survival. Years later, I finally understood the essence of closure. After any heartbreak, after any tragedy, after any loss, your closure will come from you. In the ways you choose to rise up, in the ways you choose to heal, in the ways you choose to try again and start over because if your closure is that you’re enough and you’re capable on your own then trust me when I say you will never again need closure from anyone. You will never again need someone’s approval to survive.

Writer & Poet

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