Tag: Faith

2021, I’m Ready To Let You Go

2021, I’m Ready To Let You Go

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
  • Domino Park- NYC, June 2021…The day I felt alive again.

I’m ready. Ready to let you go.

You were a year like no other. A year of revelations and self-reflection. A year of small highlights that made a big difference and a defining year for me. It’s the year I can safely say, I found myself. Every month was an answer. Every month gave me closure. Every month healed the pain 2020 brought.

With all that being said, I’m ready to end this chapter and start a new one because I am now equipped with so many lessons and so much resilience that will empower me to face anything fearlessly because thanks to you, I now know I can survive anything. Thanks to you, I now know how to fight back.

I’m ready to put an end to the nights I spent trying to understand myself and revisit my childhood wounds so I can heal them, they definitely weren’t easy because they reminded me that all the things I thought I got over were very much still alive within me. I had to say goodbye to some very dear parts to me but I knew it was the right thing to do. The parts of me that served me in the past are not going to serve me in the future and I had to look ahead.

I’m ready to put an end to all the lectures I’ve given people, teaching them how to treat me, setting boundaries with so many of them, taking back my power, and giving everyone what they deserved. It was the year I finally put my foot down and I wasn’t afraid of the consequences. I wasn’t afraid of losing people because I wanted to put myself first.

I’m ready to put an end to the inner battles and the battles between my heart and my mind. I’m ready to let go of the defensiveness that permeated my body this whole year because I didn’t want to allow anyone to hurt me again. I’m ready to ease up again because now people know where they stand with me and they know what they can and can’t get away with. Now I’ve finally taught people that I’m not going to be in their lives if they don’t know how to respect me or value me. Now I’ve finally taught people that my feelings matter and my voice matters. I’m no longer suppressing how I feel to accommodate anyone.

2021, I’m ready to let you go even though you gave me so much power and self-love, it’s time to take it easy now. It’s time to reap the rewards of what I sew. It’s time to start allowing love, light and abundance into my life. I’m no longer holding back any part of me. I am ready to shine, I’m ready for my comeback. I’m ready for the world to see the new and improved me and I’m thankful that you gave me the time and that courage to do that. You taught me how to be insanely strong and now it’s time to be insanely happy.

2022, I hope you’re ready for me. The show must go on, and this time it will be better than ever.

I’m Not Stone Cold 

I’m Not Stone Cold 

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Photo by Roksolana Zasiadko on Unsplash

I’m not stone cold
but I’m no longer a sucker for words
or a lover of games
or a believer of lies.

I’m not stone cold
but I have mastered the art
of being on my own
without pining over love.

I’m not stone cold
but I now know how
to take my heart back
from those who broke it.

I’m not stone cold
but I stopped putting people
on pedestals they don’t deserve.
I stopped fighting losing battles.

I’m not stone cold
but I stopped apologizing
for who I am,
for speaking my truth.

I’m not stone cold
but I’m no longer restless
I now stand my ground.
I now take my power back.

I’m not stone cold
but the way I love has changed
and the way I live has changed.
I’m not trying to ‘win’ anyone anymore.

I’m not stone cold
but I’ve learned how to
light my own fire
when people leave me out in the cold.

2019, I’m Ready To Let You Go

2019, I’m Ready To Let You Go

by Rania Naim ♥ 1 Comment

Screen Shot 2019-11-25 at 5.20.09 PM

2019, I’m ready to let you go.

This time, I’m saying goodbye to what could be the most challenging year of my life. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was challenging. It gave me so much to remember yet so much to forget. It brought me so much joy but also a lot of tears. It gave me so much to be thankful for but took away a few valuable things.

2019, this is my bittersweet farewell to you.

Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart because I knew deep down I wasn’t getting the kind of love I deserved. I had to choose myself instead of settling for being an option to someone else. I had to pick being alone again over someone who was never going to value me or make an effort to be in my life. I had to once again admit to myself that I made the wrong choice and it was not too late to right my wrongs. It’s never too late to realize that you made a mistake because you can always make things right again. Farewell to the day I had to break my own heart to save it. Farewell to the day I decided to do things the hard way because I wasn’t ready to lose myself again in the arms of the wrong person and I wasn’t ready to go back on what I always believed in just to make someone else happy. Especially someone who didn’t take my happiness very seriously.

Farewell to the days I saw my loved ones suffer; either from illnesses or losses or painful experiences. The days that make you reevaluate your life and your choices. The days that make you reflect on the meaning of life and security. The days that teach you the hard way that you’re not always in control and that God will always have the last word. The days you’re never prepared for but have to face anyway and utilize all your strength, faith, wisdom, patience and resilience. The days that present you with the hardest tests in life, the ones you didn’t study for, the ones you need to pass anyway. The ones that force you to burst every bubble and step out of your comfort zone. Farewell to the days that broke my heart in irreparable ways.

But more than anything, farewell to the old me, the person I was before this year started, the person who was fearful and confused and scared. The person who didn’t know if they could start over or make things happen or walk away from certain people. Farewell to the person who was stuck either professionally or personally or romantically because if 2019 taught me anything, it’s that if you can take every challenge, every setback, every painful heartbreak, every loss, every tragedy and every missed opportunity as a sign that you need to grow or change your life or yourself and you actually do something about it, then you’ll never have a bad year. You’ll always win even if you don’t have the right cards dealt for you as long as you learn how to play them. And if you can search for the truth within you and among others even if it hurts, you won’t lose yourself, you won’t end up living a lie. You won’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

Farewell 2019, the year that forced me to find myself and my truth, to stand on my own, to watch everything I feared unfold before my eyes, to make all the difficult decisions that I was running away from, to protect my own heart by breaking it over and over again and still survive, and still hope, and still dream of better and bigger things.

2019 will always be the year that tried to kill me but I survived and the year that prepared me for whatever challenges 2020 plans on bringing, but for now, all I can hope for, just like I do every year, is for 2020 to be kind. I hope 2020 is the calm after the storm. I hope 2020 is the year I thrive but regardless of what it plans on bringing, I’m ready.

2020, I’m so ready for you!

The Truth Is, You’re Meant To Fight Some Battles Alone

The Truth Is, You’re Meant To Fight Some Battles Alone

by Rania Naim ♥ 2 Comments

 

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Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash

If I have learned anything over the last few years, it’s that you have to always be ready to face certain battles alone. Your inner demons, your worst fears, and your own suffering because at the end of the day no one will truly understand your demons, no one will understand the damage, no one will understand the storms you hold within, no one will understand but you, so you have to always safeguard yourself with the tools you need to fight certain battles alone and walk through certain paths by yourself.

If I have learned anything over the last few years, it’s that you can’t really predict what life will bring you because things can change overnight. One day you’re on cloud nine and the next day you’re hitting rock bottom. One day your phone lights up with the exact words you want to hear and the next day you’re receiving the news you’ve been fearing. One day you’re planning a future with someone and the next day you’re packing your bags and leaving. One day it looks like you’re finally getting things right and the next day your life is turned upside down forcing you to start over.

And sometimes there’s nothing you could do about it except learning how to survive alone, how to be your own person, how to count on your strength and hold on for a little while longer until things align again or until the world sets you free.

And I know that on some days you just want life to slow down, you wish that you could stop battling and start living. You want to be fought for instead of being the fighter, you want to be held instead of holding everything together and you want to be understood instead of drowning in a sea of your own confusion. But if you’re meant to face the hardest of battles alone, if you’re meant to keep fighting with little to no help, then maybe it can only get better from there, you can only rebuild after destruction. You can only find peace after war.

And I know that it’s harder on some days to keep the faith and stay hopeful, but maybe that’s how you make it through, staying hopeful when things seem hopeless, staying intact when things are falling apart, knowing that eventually, life will straighten itself out again, the picture won’t be upside down and the answers won’t be so confusing or so hard to find.

I guess what keeps me going is knowing that we all get what we deserve in the end, what we work so hard for and what our hearts truly desire. Because just as things can change for the worse overnight, they can also change for the better. Just as things suddenly disappear, life can magically hand you more blessings.

And maybe you’re not meant to win every battle or get all the answers right but as long as you still know how to stand tall every time life knocks you down, you will prevail.

Ironically, life becomes easier when you know that even if you lose all your battles, as long as you haven’t lost yourself, you’re still a winner.

I Hope This Is The Year Where Everything Changes

I Hope This Is The Year Where Everything Changes

by Rania Naim ♥ 1 Comment

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Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash

I hope this is the year where everything changes.

I hope this is the year where you find yourself.

I hope this is the year where you stop being lost and finally take the right turn that leads you to your true path.

I hope this is the year where you take a leap of faith and it changes your life.

I hope this is the year where you get rewarded for all you’ve endured during the past few years.

I hope this is the year where you heal from everything that caused you pain.

I hope this is the year where all the things you’ve been waiting for happen.

I hope this is the year where you dust yourself off and start seeing things clearly again.

I hope this is the year where you get reintroduced to yourself, your potential and your worth.

I hope this is the year where you find the road to your wishes easier to navigate.

I hope this is the year where all your broken pieces come together so you could feel whole again.

I hope this is the year where you find the answers you’ve been looking for.

I hope this is the year where you get the closure you’ve been seeking.

I hope this is the year where you find hope again and renew your faith in life and in yourself.

I hope this is the year where you fall in love with yourself again and release everyone who couldn’t love you.

I hope this is the year where you stand tall and shine again.

I hope this is the year where you find things easily coming together instead of falling apart.

I hope this year is the year to remember.

I hope this is your year.

In 2019, I’m Leading With Faith

In 2019, I’m Leading With Faith

by Rania Naim ♥ 1 Comment

 

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Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

In 2019, I’m putting all my faith in God. I’m going to let him guide me without trying to interfere with his plans. I’m not going to keep knocking on the doors he decided to close. I’m not going to rush things anymore because I’ve learned to trust his timing. No matter how much I want things, his timing will always bring the best results. His timing will always make the imperfect situations perfect.

In 2019, I’m following his signs. Without trying to change the direction. Without trying to manipulate what these signs mean. Without trying to follow my own flawed sense of direction. I’m going to truly listen to his answers even if they’re not what I want to hear. I’m going to run to him when I feel lost.

In 2019, I’ll talk to him about my problems. I won’t talk to other people, I won’t keep getting advice from people who are just as confused and lost as I am. I’ll talk to him because he’s the only one who can fix them. He’s the only one who has a real solution. He’s the only one who can truly understand.

In 2019, I’m detaching. Detaching from what’s not meant for me. Detaching from all the expectations I had for myself and people. I’m detaching from trying to make everything work or having control over every single aspect in my life. I’m detaching from my own obsessions and my own demons.

In 2019, I’m trusting him more. Because God knows what’s in my heart. God knows what I need. He doesn’t need reminders. God doesn’t forget. I’m counting on him to make me whole again. I’m done trying to mend everything myself. I’m done trying to pretend like I know what’s best for me when I have the ultimate teacher waiting for me to put all my faith and trust in him. I have the ultimate healer.

In 2019, I’m leading with faith. Faith that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Faith that the new year will bring more blessings and more positive transformations into my life. Faith that even if things don’t work out the way I want them to, they’re still working out in my favor. Faith that I’ll eventually receive everything I’ve been asking for because that’s what faith does, it turns everything around.

2018, I’m Ready To Let You Go

2018, I’m Ready To Let You Go

by Rania Naim ♥ 2 Comments

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Photo by Megan Lewis on Unsplash

I’m ready.

I’m ready to let you go. I’m so ready to let you go. You weren’t the easiest or the happiest and I’m ready to say goodbye to everything you’ve brought. I’m ready to let go of the parts of you that disappointed me, the people who let me down, the moments that I couldn’t hold myself together and the times when I almost gave up on myself.

I learned.

You taught me a few important lessons the hard way. You taught me that nothing is ever predictable, especially people. You taught me that family could easily diminish your value in a moment of anger, friends could replace you when they find their significant other, people can lie to your heart and break it just to mend theirs, but most of all you taught me how to stand alone, which will always be the hardest lesson for me, but you proved to me that the only person I can control is me and the only person I can really count on is also me. You taught me not to get too attached to people or trust too much or love too much. You taught me that I have to always guard myself even from the closest people to my heart. But…..

I forgive you.

I forgive you for all the pain, the betrayal, the unpleasant surprises, and the confusion. I forgive you for the countless nights you made me sleep with tears in my eyes. I forgive you for making the happy times short-lived. I forgive you for not going the way I wanted you to go. Maybe there is something about you that will help me in the years to come. Maybe as much as I want to forget you, you will be the year I look back on to avoid future disasters or think twice before getting close to someone again or maybe you’ll be the year that brought me closer to myself and that will make all the difference. However…

I appreciate you.

You still brought me a lot of blessings. A lot of laughter. A lot of unforgettable moments and people. A lot of memories that will make me smile for years to come. Ironically, as much as you made me feel dead inside, you brought me moments that made me feel alive like never before. You had your way of making up for the bad times or the hard times and I appreciate you for making a few things better. I appreciate you for giving me just enough to keep going, to keep believing, to look forward to what’s coming next and to have faith that the best is yet to come.

I’m going to get over you.

I’m already healing from your wounds. I’m already looking ahead. I’m done living in your sob story. I’m done being your victim. I’m done letting you take so much space and energy. I’m done dwelling on all the things I didn’t do and all the dreams you didn’t let me live. I’m done trying to make everything happen before you end.

You weren’t the year for me and it’s time to move on. It’s time to let you go.

2019 —

I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know what you hold for me, I don’t know if you’ll be better or worse, but I know that I’m ready for you. I’ve survived the worst and now I’m ready to write a new story on your empty pages, literally. I can only hope that this time, it’s going to be a happy one. I can only hope that this time, you are the year for me.

Maybe I Am ‘Too Much’ But I Just Can’t Be Anything Else

Maybe I Am ‘Too Much’ But I Just Can’t Be Anything Else

by Rania Naim ♥ 4 Comments

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Unsplash/kevin laminto

I don’t know how to be anything
other than intense.
All in.
Too much.
Too involved.
I don’t know how to be an almost
or anything in between.
But there’s a price you pay
when you can’t settle for the middle
because when you’re so fixated on
a certain kind of love
you become so good at letting go,
kissing people goodbye,
holding someone’s hand
only to unclasp your fingers,
getting so dangerously close
only to create a safer distance,
catching yourself before you fall
because you’re not so sure
if they will catch you.
And you don’t know how to half-love someone
or have bits and pieces of their heart,
You only know how to love with all your heart
and want the same in return.
So I got used to it all,
you know —
leaving,
moving on,
being on my own,
searching for answers,
walking my journey alone
because as much as I want to
hold someone’s hand
as I climb the mountain
and as much as I want to
share the view with someone,
I don’t know how to balance myself
if I’m not the only one.
I don’t know how to open the door
if I have one foot out.
So it doesn’t get to me anymore
when people call me too dreamy,
too romantic,
too idealistic,
or too much
because there’s a price you pay
when you don’t know how to settle,
you spend a lot of time waiting,
you spend a lot of time alone,
you don’t always have a hand to hold,
you don’t always have someone to call
but for some reason, you wait it out,
because you have faith that one of those days
your too muchness will be just enough
for the right person.

What If Roadblocks Were Actually Stepping Stones In Disguise?

What If Roadblocks Were Actually Stepping Stones In Disguise?

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Unsplash/Igor Starkov
@igorstarkoff

I don’t know how long it takes for things to come together. For the wrongs to be right. For the lessons to sink in and for the mistakes to stop repeating themselves. I don’t know how long it takes for you to face your own truths, to win your internal battles, to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask the hard questions until you stop running away from the answers when they’re not the answers you hoped they’d be.

I don’t know how long it takes for life to start making sense or for your dreams to come true or for your happiness to stop evading you. I don’t know how long it takes until you can rest your head on the pillow and sleep peacefully without carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. I don’t know how long it takes for you to wake up and find everything you’ve ever wanted waiting for you in the morning.

But I do know that you have to believe that it’s right around corner, that it’s going to happen sooner than you think, that things have a way of turning around in the blink of an eye, that your happy ending is not an elusive fantasy but a reality waiting for the right moment to enter your life.

I know you carry with you the heaviness of a painful past and the emptiness of broken relationships. I know you carry burdens from your family and heartaches from your past lovers but I also know that these are just crumbs of things that have already burnt. These are just remnants of hitting rock bottom and all you have to do is dust yourself off and step into your new power, your new light, your new life. A life that’s not defined by anything that you didn’t have control over or anyone who has deeply hurt you. A life that’s not defined by old wounds or hidden scars.

Because the beauty of life is that you can always redefine it, you can always change it, you can always rewrite your story if you no longer want to live the same old one.

And yes I’m aware that there are things in life you can’t control and things that you can’t really change but I also know that these roadblocks are not in your life so you can turn the other way and drive off, they’re there so you can find a way around them, to figure out a new way to get to your destination without backing up. They’re there so you can learn how to keep moving instead of standing still.

I don’t know if there’s a manual that teaches you how to maneuver these roadblocks but I do know that sometimes you might have to write your own manual. And I don’t know if you’ll ever master or perfect the art of penetrating these roadblocks but I do know that every time you try, a new street opens up, you notice a new sign, you find a new direction, you see a lamppost that lights up the way and shows you what’s ahead of you. You discover something that makes the journey a little less terrifying.

You learn that there’s always something better waiting for you after every roadblock. A little detour that takes you to a whole new path that would have stayed out of sight had you stopped. You eventually learn that roadblocks are not trying to ruin your life, they’re trying to move you into another direction that brings you closer to where you truly belong.

Here’s What They Don’t Tell You About ‘Finding Yourself’

Here’s What They Don’t Tell You About ‘Finding Yourself’

by Rania Naim ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Unsplash/ Jernej Graj

They don’t tell you that it’s so easy to forget that we don’t have to stay stuck in one place. It’s easy to forget that we can’t change our lives or leave toxic people who bring us nothing but pain behind.

It’s so easy to forget that we have been living a lie and we can’t do anything about it because of the havoc that we might cause if we start being true to ourselves.

It’s so easy to forget that we actually have a choice.

A choice to start over. A choice to walk away. A choice to move. A choice to change. A choice to take a leap of faith. A choice to find what brings us joy. A choice to leave what once defined us.

Because the truth is there’s a part of you that knows when something has run its course, when something is over, when something has served its purpose and when it’s time for a new chapter and a new beginning. There’s a part of you that’s always ready to face what you’re afraid to admit to yourself.

It’s so easy to forget that we have that power. It’s so easy to let life define us instead of redefining our own lives.

I think what holds us back is fear, fear of letting go, fear of detaching from who we are, fear of losing what we worked so hard to achieve. Fear of changing what we think is the ‘best version’ of ourselves.

But here’s the terrifying truth, maybe it’s okay to feel like your ‘best self’ is not who you really want to be anymore.

Maybe it’s not so bad to break what once made us whole. We’re allowed to outgrow certain parts of our lives that we once fought so hard for or certain people who we once loved with all our hearts.

It’s so easy to forget that your ‘best-self’ may not be the best after all. Maybe it was for a little while, but it won’t be forever.

And I get it, it’s exhausting; changing, starting over, relearning who you are and what you need, feeling that you wasted years working so hard for something only to abandon it in the end. Trust me, I get it.

But what’s harder is living with a voice inside of you that’s that’s constantly telling you that something is off; you’re not where you’re meant to be. You’re not who you could become.

Because they don’t tell you that while it’s so easy to forget that we have a choice, it’s also so easy to remember that we can always make a different one. One that could change our lives for the umpteenth time and yes, it’s so easy to remember how to do it all over again.